Hi, it’s me. If you were expecting an email from Jen Zug Writes, you’re in the right place! I’m approaching one year of writing this newsletter, and to celebrate, I gave it a little refresh with a new name that reflects more of a community vibe.
Welcome to Pretend You’re Good At it, a weekly newsletter and community discussion hub where it’s safe to admit we might be winging it!
Do I have what it takes?
This question runs constantly in the background of my mind. I don’t ask it explicitly, but the feeling is there in my default assumption that everyone else navigates the world with certainty and confidence while I am the Queen of Hesitation & Doubt. My first memory of this feeling was when I was five years old attempting my first piano recital.1
Maybe you’ve felt this way before?
When I landed on this name after some brainstorming, I ran it by a bunch of friends to see what they thought. Was it relatable? Did they get it? Did they need to ask a bunch of questions to clarify what I meant? To my relief and comfort, the reaction was usually a wide-eyed exclamation of I LOVE IT! I totally get it! My therapist teared up (in a good way).
(One exception was my friend, Kim, who said, “I like it, but I’m more of a Do It Bad person.” 🤣 Fair enough.)
As I shared the new name and concept with friends, it sparked conversations about their own feelings of failure and inadequacy, and I heard vulnerable stories from them that I hadn’t heard before. This validated my belief that 1) we learn a great deal about ourselves when we push through fear and disappointment, and 2) it’s easier to share these stories with others when invited into a space where we know everyone else is also Figuring It Out.
I hope you’ll consider submitting your own stories on the theme of Pretend You’re Good At It to be published here. Just give me a few weeks to settle in and figure out the vibe, and I’ll let you know how you can do that.
While I was working on this name change, Bryan sent me the following Adam Grant quote:
Imposter syndrome: “I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s only a matter of time until everyone finds out.”
Growth mindset: “I don’t know what I’m doing yet. It’s only a matter of time until I figure it out.”
The highest form of self-confidence is believing in your ability to learn.
What do you think about this quote?
Personally, I understand objectively that knowing something is simply a matter of figuring it out, and that some people have already figured it out, and I’m on my way to figuring it out (whatever it is). But even knowing this objectively, I still deeply relate to the feeling that at some point it will be discovered that I don’t already know it, thus proving I don’t belong here (wherever here is).
Pretend You’re Good At It is a space where I can remind myself (and you!) that we’re enough, even if we’re still figuring it out. I hope you’ll see the new name as aspirational, hopeful, and at times… funny.
I’m super excited – thanks for being here!
Until next time,
Jen
What do you think?!
Let me know in the comments what you think of the new name and new vibe. Yes, I’m fishing for compliments to feed my insecurity, but I also welcome constructive suggestions.
Do you relate?! What imposter-syndromey thing comes to mind for you?
I wrote the full story in one of my earliest newsletter editions:
I love this!
Well I like it ... it’s open and inviting, allowing the reader to imagine they’re on this ride with you (which does reflect your whole vibe). I’m trying to reflect on whether I like it because it mirrors my own rename, months in (I forget how many) over to the current “Out Over My Skis,” which has a not-dissimilar vibe