Thank you for the update. I think about you guys often. I appreciate you taking the time and posting this. It can't be easy. Positive thoughts coming your way.
Also, Janice's newsletter is excellent. Like yours, it makes me think and feel something most times I read it.
Thanks for this update - I really resonated with the statement you made around cancer-adjacent. It really helped label the experiences I had and makes a lot of sense to me. So glad to hear he is out there living his best life - I hope you have an amazing august!!!
I do appreciate these update posts. I know how challenging they must be, and like you say, there's only so many ways to say the same thing. But I hope that sharing it relieves the stress a little bit, just by getting it out of the inner-Substack and onto the outer one. That's awesome you took the family on an outdoor adventure. I am the worst paddle-boarder imaginable. I have shaky-knee syndrome (my own diagnosis) and have terrible balance on boards. But I'm a great kayaker, so that's my water modality. My dog is an excellent paddle-boarder. If I could add photos I'd show you one of Bernie, my 90 lbs. Am Staff/Bull-dog mix on a board with a giant smile.
We went out on the lake this weekend and Bryan borrowed a friend’s kayak. He liked it much better than the paddle board and might get one. I have been loving the paddle board for the way standing on it reinforces the muscle groups I’ve been working on with the PT for supporting my arthritic joints.
Yeah, my wife is pretty obsessed about paddle-boarding. She bought an inflatable one and goes out in the bay on it. Hopefully the lake isn't too far from your house, so that you can go PB'ing when you like!
I send my candle lighting positive thoughts your way. For what it's worth, I see that photo of Brian sleeping instead of watching movies, and I think about how strong he is and wise his body is to understand that for now he needs to sleep instead of watch movies, preserving his energy for healing. I "feel" he's got this, he's going to win this battle. In the meantime, consider this time you get to select all of your favorite movies to watch while he heals. 💜
Thanks for the update, Jen. Praying for the side effects (and the side effects of the side effects) to lessen and for Brian to not be stressed about being the slacker half of the partnership for a little while. Also praying for you to become the super-confident half who is a total badass at all the things until you get Brian back at his normal capacity. And hugs. Sending big virtual hugs.
I know you think you’re writing about cancer, but what I’m reading is all about how to love someone. This stuff about your marriage and how you work together really moves me.
Hi, Jen, thank you for mentioning the article. I hadn’t realized how much our habits were intertwined, or how much they would change during the care giving time and then later on.
. My best wishes to you and Bryan as you go through these challenging times. I hope that you are finding a way to take care of you as you take care of him.
I am sorry you and your family is going through this. It resonates on many levels, as I have just witnessed my husband put on life support after emergency open heart surgery. A sight I do not want to see again if possible.
While it is a different experience from a diagnosis perspective for our husbands,I feel that as women we can find ourselves switching into so much automated and default survivalist thinking, and I myself have been through much anger, grief, and denial, some days all at once and as a result of all that, more self-compassion has been surfacing as needed. I wish you both strength.
Thank you for the update. I think about you guys often. I appreciate you taking the time and posting this. It can't be easy. Positive thoughts coming your way.
Also, Janice's newsletter is excellent. Like yours, it makes me think and feel something most times I read it.
Thanks Rocco! Always appreciate that you take the time to read and comment.
Thanks for this update - I really resonated with the statement you made around cancer-adjacent. It really helped label the experiences I had and makes a lot of sense to me. So glad to hear he is out there living his best life - I hope you have an amazing august!!!
Thanks Jiwon. We do have a fun August planned!
I do appreciate these update posts. I know how challenging they must be, and like you say, there's only so many ways to say the same thing. But I hope that sharing it relieves the stress a little bit, just by getting it out of the inner-Substack and onto the outer one. That's awesome you took the family on an outdoor adventure. I am the worst paddle-boarder imaginable. I have shaky-knee syndrome (my own diagnosis) and have terrible balance on boards. But I'm a great kayaker, so that's my water modality. My dog is an excellent paddle-boarder. If I could add photos I'd show you one of Bernie, my 90 lbs. Am Staff/Bull-dog mix on a board with a giant smile.
We went out on the lake this weekend and Bryan borrowed a friend’s kayak. He liked it much better than the paddle board and might get one. I have been loving the paddle board for the way standing on it reinforces the muscle groups I’ve been working on with the PT for supporting my arthritic joints.
Yeah, my wife is pretty obsessed about paddle-boarding. She bought an inflatable one and goes out in the bay on it. Hopefully the lake isn't too far from your house, so that you can go PB'ing when you like!
I send my candle lighting positive thoughts your way. For what it's worth, I see that photo of Brian sleeping instead of watching movies, and I think about how strong he is and wise his body is to understand that for now he needs to sleep instead of watch movies, preserving his energy for healing. I "feel" he's got this, he's going to win this battle. In the meantime, consider this time you get to select all of your favorite movies to watch while he heals. 💜
Love it! Thank you for this perspective, Sue.
Hope the nausea and fatigue stay manageable so you can both keep getting out there.
We manage! As long as we remember to take his anti nausea meds whenever we leave the house...
Continued good thoughts to you and Brian. I hear you about the rhythms of life being disrupted. It's unsettling and disorienting.
Oops, sorry for the misspelling of Bryan's name!
Thanks for the update, Jen. Praying for the side effects (and the side effects of the side effects) to lessen and for Brian to not be stressed about being the slacker half of the partnership for a little while. Also praying for you to become the super-confident half who is a total badass at all the things until you get Brian back at his normal capacity. And hugs. Sending big virtual hugs.
Thanks, Holly.
Thank you for the update Jen. I'm so sorry you are all going through this. Much love to you all. ❤️
Love you, Libby!
I know you think you’re writing about cancer, but what I’m reading is all about how to love someone. This stuff about your marriage and how you work together really moves me.
I just read and commented on your latest, and here you are! (Jinx you owe me a coke?)
Thank you for this very generous comment.
Ha ha, no doubt. And we must be either the same age or from the same area, unless “jinx you owe me a coke” is universal!
Hi Jen, so very true about the mental energy.
"Cancer adjacent' - what a great way to express it.
Thank you for this update. Sending every good wish across the pond!
Hi, Jen, thank you for mentioning the article. I hadn’t realized how much our habits were intertwined, or how much they would change during the care giving time and then later on.
. My best wishes to you and Bryan as you go through these challenging times. I hope that you are finding a way to take care of you as you take care of him.
I am sorry you and your family is going through this. It resonates on many levels, as I have just witnessed my husband put on life support after emergency open heart surgery. A sight I do not want to see again if possible.
While it is a different experience from a diagnosis perspective for our husbands,I feel that as women we can find ourselves switching into so much automated and default survivalist thinking, and I myself have been through much anger, grief, and denial, some days all at once and as a result of all that, more self-compassion has been surfacing as needed. I wish you both strength.