This is so great. Sounds like my experience of being my very old mother's caregiver. I had to write the book I couldn't find. I did not find the experience deeply satisfying or think I was so "blessed" to have the opportunity, at least not while it was happening. What a bunch of liars those memoirists are. Reading them made me feel even more inadequate and lonely. Take off the rose-colored glasses and get real already. So thank you for truth-telling about the whole parenting thing! Mush on.
"I had to write the book I couldn't find." Yes! Part of the challenge for me is the parenting truth-telling without tipping over into cynicism or complaining. And also writing about my relationship to evangelicalism without this becoming a "christian" book. The fact that I didn't love babies or being pregnant was super counter to my local church culture, which viewed child rearing as the sole purpose of women's existence.
Parenting is hard. REALLY hard. Mom Guilt is a real thing and just makes things harder…. I found that I had many moments where I felt support from strangers. Looking back on it I can see how brief encounters really helped me get through. One of my favorites was sitting in the Costco parking lot stuffing my face with “s’mores mix” and coffee from the $1 coffee machine inside Costco crying and looking over at the next car seeing a mom over there with a huge bag of chips and a soda looking like she was about to cry. We both smiled at each other, nodded and did a “cheers” with our cups. At that moment I realized I was ok snd a normal mom. I was not alone. Other moms cried in the Costco parking lot with a bag of junk food. I drove home feeling like things were going to be ok.
I think the book is going to be great! I love how you write about events in your life.
I didn't really think much about parenthood before having children or while they were growing up. I just tried to do whatever my Mum had done/would have done. Translating what worked in rural Devon in England to Mexico City or Shanghai wasn't always straightfoward, however. One thing my late mother used to stress was that parenting was a forever thing. That, I've only just started to come to terms with.
Ugh. I was moderately concerned that readers would find my memoir (or me as depicted) as mean and lacking compassion for my elderly mother. But I've only had one reviewer who hinted at that, and then said he had changed his mind by the end. People just want to hear the truth, because most likely they have felt the same, and needed someone else to name it.
This is so great. Sounds like my experience of being my very old mother's caregiver. I had to write the book I couldn't find. I did not find the experience deeply satisfying or think I was so "blessed" to have the opportunity, at least not while it was happening. What a bunch of liars those memoirists are. Reading them made me feel even more inadequate and lonely. Take off the rose-colored glasses and get real already. So thank you for truth-telling about the whole parenting thing! Mush on.
hashtag BLESSED! :)
"I had to write the book I couldn't find." Yes! Part of the challenge for me is the parenting truth-telling without tipping over into cynicism or complaining. And also writing about my relationship to evangelicalism without this becoming a "christian" book. The fact that I didn't love babies or being pregnant was super counter to my local church culture, which viewed child rearing as the sole purpose of women's existence.
I'm so, so, so excited for both of these books. So excited.
Thank you, David! I hope I can deliver on the hype!
Parenting is hard. REALLY hard. Mom Guilt is a real thing and just makes things harder…. I found that I had many moments where I felt support from strangers. Looking back on it I can see how brief encounters really helped me get through. One of my favorites was sitting in the Costco parking lot stuffing my face with “s’mores mix” and coffee from the $1 coffee machine inside Costco crying and looking over at the next car seeing a mom over there with a huge bag of chips and a soda looking like she was about to cry. We both smiled at each other, nodded and did a “cheers” with our cups. At that moment I realized I was ok snd a normal mom. I was not alone. Other moms cried in the Costco parking lot with a bag of junk food. I drove home feeling like things were going to be ok.
I loved this story about the comfort of strangers!
I love moments like these. The isolation of motherhood can be so crazy-making!
Getting your kid to carry their own shit through an airport is as good of parenting barometer as any.
Hahaha right? It's such a specific thing, but we did a LOT of traveling to visit family when the kids were little.
I think the book is going to be great! I love how you write about events in your life.
I didn't really think much about parenthood before having children or while they were growing up. I just tried to do whatever my Mum had done/would have done. Translating what worked in rural Devon in England to Mexico City or Shanghai wasn't always straightfoward, however. One thing my late mother used to stress was that parenting was a forever thing. That, I've only just started to come to terms with.
Thank you, Jeffrey! I'm looking forward to writing and sharing more stories from our family lore.
I love the way parenting is forever. It changes over the years, but it's definitely an embedded identity.
Ugh. I was moderately concerned that readers would find my memoir (or me as depicted) as mean and lacking compassion for my elderly mother. But I've only had one reviewer who hinted at that, and then said he had changed his mind by the end. People just want to hear the truth, because most likely they have felt the same, and needed someone else to name it.