Finding Peace in Advent Season
the connection between peace and piece(s)
Hi, it’s me. We got our Christmas tree over the weekend, and I’m vowing that this is the year I remember to water it. There’s nothing quite like the will they or won’t they burn the house down Christmas tradition!
It’s Advent season.
Even though I grew up in the church, I don’t remember my family following Advent – except for maybe the calendars with a chocolate behind each perforated cardboard door. Currently, I’m into the wine Advent calendars, so if you’re wondering what to get me for Christmas… but I digress. In the last five years or so we’ve attended a church that centers the season around Advent and its themes: hope, peace, joy, & love.
I’ve always found it a little difficult to find peace this time of year. My general state of mind usually feels damp and gray, like a proper Pacific Northwesterner. Despite lighting up every corner of our home with candles and string lights, my sense of wonder and joy feels… subdued on a good day and depressed on a bad day.
A while ago I learned that the Greek word for anxiety is marimna, which means “to be in pieces,” or to have a divided mind with too many goals. I’ve never considered myself to be an anxious person, but a divided mind is something that resonates with me. Busy? Yes. Overwhelmed? Yes. With too many things on my plate? Definitely. But I handle it. I always handle it! And occasionally I snap at someone in my vicinity for sitting still too long, and then we’re all grumpy.
Not much peace to be found in that familiar scenario.
One example of marimna’s use in the Bible is in the story of Mary and Martha:
38 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, 42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42, ESV
For many years, I hated this story and how preachers would pit these two women against each other. “Don’t be a Martha,” was the point. Martha was too busy. Martha was a complainer. Martha didn’t get it. Everyone should be like Mary! Consequently, I knew a lot of smug Marys back in the day who got out of planning and hosting events (in the name of Jesus!) while me and my other Martha-friends did all the work.
My gift of hospitality and pragmatic approach to community was used against me from the pulpit because “Mary chose the good portion” (or better way) while Martha was too busy and distracted. It’s a confusing sermon, if you think about it. Consider how many evangelical churches pigeon hole women into roles of service and hospitality, only to be told it’s actually not that great to “be a Martha.”
I was in my 40s when I heard this story shared in a whole new way. In the context of marimna – of being “in pieces” – Jesus wasn’t telling Martha she wasn’t good enough or that her hard work wasn’t valued. He was speaking to her anxiety, which manifested as busyness and stress. Martha’s mental health was unraveling, and the way back to peace was to be undivided, single-minded, and focused on his presence.
The to-do list is important, but not at the expense of our mental health.1
This reminder to be single-minded is what I carry into Advent season this year as I think about peace. Also, the world needs both Marthas and Marys working together, not pitted against each other. I’m grateful for Bryan, whose Mary-like spirit calms me when my mind is scattered and in pieces.
To aid my peace-finding mission, I’m kicking off Advent season with this Over the Rhine song — listen along with me:
Whatever we've lost
I think we're gonna let it go
Let it fall
Like snow
'Cause rain and leaves
And snow and tears and stars
And that's not all my friend
They all fall with confidence and grace
So let it fall, let it fall
In this season of peace, I’m learning to let a few things fall with confidence and grace. If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear about it in the comments.
Until next time,
Jen
I will not go on my rant in this post about the Evangelical Church and its negligence regarding mental health practices, but know that I have strong feelings about it. Also, this is my first time using a footnote, and I think it should be celebrated. 🎉
Thank you for this. The way the modern church reduces the roles of women into their usefulness to the mission or their willingness to sacrificially nurture is hard to cope with. Needed this reminder today that God is the one who makes the way, and that when I’m feeling anxious for our kids, our extra kids, I can rest in His presence. Thank you.
You're right. It's a tricky time.
It's actually a really good time of year to start planning ahead. I have an allotment and the planning usually starts in early January and by the start of February im planting tomato seeds. Once I have things growing that really helps me realise that Spring is on its way.