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Lindsey Melden's avatar

Mmmm this resonates sooo much. It’s like the difference between a “good job” for kids and pointing the praise back to who they are instead - “you worked so hard on that” or “you should be proud of yourself”

This goes for disability parenting too - if I never heard another “you are so strong” or “I don’t think I could do it” …yes you fucking could. You’d get strong because that’s what your kid needed! I’m not some strong super-woman mom, I’m just doing what needs to be done.

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Nina Gilliam's avatar

So good! A corollary is hearing, "You're so strong! I would never have survived what you've been through!" when my husband died at age 57, leaving me a widow with two young teens.

I was strong because I had no other choice and my kids needed me. Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same for your own children.

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