Dining With Strangers
Plus my excitement for Dune, the book and movie.
Hi, it’s me.
I am finally coming out of hibernation after being sick for three weeks. It wasn’t COVID, but I’m pretty sure it was the flu. And I didn’t get a flu shot this year, so let that be a cautionary tale to you all. I also haven’t gotten a shingles vaccination yet despite knowing three people who’ve had shingles since the start of 2024. I am terrible at taking care of myself. More specifically, I am terrible about remembering to make appointments.
Anyway, thankfully I work from home which means I spent three weeks in my pajamas with the camera off and occasionally took two hour naps in the middle of the day. This minimized my PTO (Paid Time Off), which I’m paranoid about losing after Cancerfest 2023 when I ran out of PTO and spent half the year working extra long days to flex the time I was taking to go with Bryan to appointments.
All that to say, if you have a Substack newsletter I subscribe to, I haven’t read it all month. I’m sorry. I love all of you, but I’ve only had energy for working and watching television. I will catch up at some point because I’m a little obsessive about FOMO.
This week I’m sharing a story I first wrote in 2008 when I was a stay-at-home mom with a five and three year old, living in a suburb 30 minutes south of Seattle. I had become friends with one of Bryan’s coworkers, and she invited me out to dinner. As an introvert and person isolated from the working world, I felt awkward around career people and worried about fitting in. What on earth would I have to contribute to a conversation?! Spoiler alert: it’s never as bad as I think it’s going to be.
See you below in the comments.
Dining With Strangers
(From June 2008)
I had dinner last night with a new friend at a new restaurant in the Big City. I parked my car a block away so as to not completely embarrass her with my well used, dented, unwashed mini van in need of a good decluttering – no sexy single girl wants to be seen out on the town with THAT.
(Truth be told, neither do I).
She arrived first, and when I got there she said we could either wait for a table or sit at the community table. With a smile, I masked a flash of panic at talking to strangers all night on a first date, and agreed it would be FUN! YEAH, THAT SOUNDS FUN! THAT WOULD BE GREAT! YEAH, LET’S DO THAT!
Within 30 seconds of sitting down my new Friend Who Talks to Strangers introduced herself to the other couple sitting at the table, and as it turns out they know each other. Kind of. They both rode Dressage horses – which I’m told is like horse ballet, so I can imagine it’s like a five katrillion to one chance we would end up sitting in a tiny Seattle restaurant together.
A third couple was seated next to us who turned out to be either sisters or friends – I can’t remember which one. We spent the evening ooooo-ing and aaaaahhhh-ing over each others’ plates of food, and actually passed one of ours around to be smelled by the others.
I had octopus for the first time, and Bryan is going to kill me for this because he’s always trying to get me to try octopus. But like everything else that is important to him, I finally acquiesce if a girlfriend also suggests it. But it’s like I had no choice. My Friend Who Talks to Strangers was all, if you like mussels and if you like scallops, you will like octopus, which to me sounded like a triple dog double dare. Of course I loved the octopus. But this place cooked everything to such perfection, and in the most exquisite sauces, that I think I would have died and gone to heaven had they served me snow tires for dinner.
By the time we reached the chocolate crepes and dessert wine portion of the meal (!!!) we were all exchanging business cards with one another. I was fascinated by the gal sitting across from me who bought land with her husband about an hour north of Seattle and started a winery. They are attorneys. They are city people. They’ve never done this before. I was all, YOU HAVE TO START A BLOG!
As it turns out, I still have a brain. I am very happy with the life choices I’ve made, staying home with my kids. But sometimes when I find myself dining at a table with marketing directors, physicians, and attorneys, I feel a slight stage fright when introducing myself as a stay at home mom – I assume the other person is making assumptions about me. But last night as we discussed Twitter and blogs and our kids and horse riding and pilates and wine making, I feared no assumptions. We were just six people brought together randomly by a unique dining experience, and we enjoyed the evening all the more because it.
As we parted for the night my new friend said I should pick the restaurant next time, and I was all, YOU MEAN WE GET A SECOND DATE? I think it was the new sexy jeans I was wearing. All I know is, I plan to call every restaurant in Seattle to find out who else has a community dining table.
Excited about Dune Part 2?
In early 2021 my then 15-year-old son, Thomas, said to me, “Mom, would you read Dune with me and do a podcast together about it?”
Um, yes! A thousand times yes!
For the next year we read the book together and recorded a 50-episode chapter-by-chapter podcast, led by Thomas. We had so much fun! It was the highlight of my week to spend Sunday afternoons recording together. Here’s a one-minute trailer:
Anyway, the reason I’m bringing this up is because Dune 2 opens this weekend. We, the whole Zug Family, have tickets to see it on Sunday, and we just re-watched the first movie tonight (which is why this newsletter is going out so late). If you’re interested in such things, here are two episodes of the podcast where we reviewed and meticulously nerded out over the first movie.
Episode 38: Dune THE MOVIE: A Zug Family Review —
Episode 39: Dune THE MOVIE: Scene by Scene Breakdown —
I know these are long and niche and probably only funny to me, but I will never not love that we did this together.
Okay, have a great end to your week!
Until next time,
Jen
Hi. A new fan of yours and mid-binge on your writing here. Commenting to let you know I absolutely love your voice and your words. Also, while nowhere near as huge an accomplishment as mothering, you are LITERALLY A WORKING WRITER!!! I am “only” 26, which does not feel so “only” currently, though I too have a brain that lets me know it is indeed still young, but I mean to say I think I understand the shame/embarrassment bit all too well. We never look the same to ourselves. Just so u know, if I met you at a community dinner table and discovered u were a writer with a successful Substack newsletter to show for it and also a beautiful daughter with the coolest arm tattoo ever (just read your post for her 21st— I meant it when I said I’m mid-binge!!!!!) I’d immediately group up into a camp of too- smart, too-accomplished, Cool and High-Value Strangers out there doing Cool and High-Value things. But you know that!
Anyway, just thought I’d let u know that somewhere out there is a stranger who is both idealizing and idolizing the shit of you, and hopes that I too will one day be in a city somewhere with a good view and good people to invite over and enjoy it with.
So glad you're feeling better, Jen! 'Dining with Strangers' - hilarious, brilliant and SO relatable! A terrific post.
I'm behind on my own Substack reading, too, and am delighting in the small stack of Pretend You're Good At It posts which is on my screen right now for my attention at last! Thank you, as always, for giving me such great things to read!