So glad I can inspire you to see yourself anew. ha ha.
I have been telling everyone all my hormonal dysfunction and harassing every woman I know who has gone before me for the last 5+ years for information and it is disturbing how few women want to talk about something that takes over life. Or who even want to acknowledge how whacked we get during this time. I can't tell you how many women have said something like, "oh I don't know that I noticed anything." That is some deep denial. More TMI on this topic!
I think every man and woman who is still married at the end of this crazy deserves a metal! How is the divorce rate not higher at this age??? (and I do think it is pretty high) I too have thought mid fight, is this hormones? But honestly that just pisses me off further.
I made it 224 days without a period last year and at absolutely no time during those 9 months did it occur to me I would not eventually get my period and have to restart the clock. Now on day 73 of my second attempt at menopause. I am 50/50 it will stick this time.
Every single woman in my family had a hysterectomy before menopause. I am literally leading the way for all the women in my family and the nieces who will come behind me. I have one cousin my age who had a hysterectomy but kept ovaries so she gets all the symptoms but no period. Which seems like a reasonable trade off even if you never know the exact moment you are done.
Also, if you have anyone who has gone before you, does the crazy end when you hit the one year? Because honestly I felt pretty great during those 224 days. I mean hot flashes and a few other annoying symptoms but mostly I felt pretty rational and stable with decent energy and no period pain. I could get behind feeling that way the rest of my life. Might even agree to a little weight gain and random warm flashes (mine aren't dying hot and FYI after being told by several women they couldn't be real hot flashes I did some research and discovered that warm flashes are the same thing! So there all you dismissive people!) as a trade off.
“I made it 224 days without a period last year...” GREAT. You just confirmed my worst fear. 😂
“I have been telling everyone all my hormonal dysfunction and harassing every woman I know who has gone before me for the last 5+ years for information...” SAAAAAME. This is why we’re friends. We both have no shame. 😂
I’ve read that the hormonal shift/imbalance during menopause is as extreme as when we first go through puberty. My anxiety has definitely increased, but it’s hard to tell if that’s hormones or cancer.
Oh 12 year old puberty hormones have nothing on Peri-menopause hormones. I was not fractionally this crazy as a teen. I am seriously unhinged. I scare myself. And then going through this with a daughter?! Seriously. I can see why so many women were in sanitariums back in the day. And also, HOW DARE! But also, could you send me to one for a couple years? I could really use the rest.
Also, yes, Hormones or Cancer? Hormones or trauma? It sucks when you are having legitimately difficult things happening in your life at the same time as legitimately hormone inducing crazy. What is real????
Hysteria is from the Greek. "husterikós", suffering in the uterus. The cycle and the mental-pause have caused major social tidal waves throughout history, (so that should be spelled hystery).
Yes, I have a friend from high school from whom I moved an ocean and a continent away so she couldn’t keep contradicting my self-hating bs. She still does! Thank Goddess!
We need more menopause-for-thought and shares.
I’ll be there at the world domination summit amongst the rakes and the hoes 😂. With 🥿 🥿
I’m interested in the logistics around these milestone chips. And their applicability outside perimenopause. Are they allowed to be cashed in for naps? Because I’d support a world where I could bump my head into a box like Mario and pile on those nap coins.
That's what got me to get evaluated, too. My therapist suggested I might be exhibiting symptoms of ADHD when I impulsively quit my stable job I'd worked five years to achieve, to find something "meaningful" to do with my life. It was the right thing to do, but it was also an ADHD thing to do.
I loved reading this! I have a couple of friends too who call me out/challenge me after reading my blog posts. I will have forgotten something that shows me in a better light or maybe have focused more on the negatives of a situation or trait and they gently point out some opposing viewpoints. They see me so differently to the way I see myself and it's always an interesting reminder.
Women should get more chips and tokens generally. I just had a baby and feel should be lauded with awards and trophies for all the night feeds and the sheer amount of milk I am producing, spilling and navigating.
I'm right there with you on the "low-to-medium risk" perception of myself. Coincidentally, it was the topic I wrote about for my morning pages first thing this past Monday morning. I made a list of what I thought were 'all the things I tried to do', only afterwards I realised I had actually DONE most of them, and curiously, most of them were things that were slightly risky, better done with a partner than alone, and some were even quite physically challenging. As a young girl I did none of those sorts of things.
I didn’t think I was daring at all. In fact, I often chastised myself for being reticent and not taking chances. My mother strongly advised the low risk-options in life: Don’t take chances, better to be safe than sorry. Follow the safe path. Go with certainty.
It took so many years after not living at home for me to hear my own voice, the stubborn one, the let’s go for it one, and I wasn’t always sure if it was mine. Apparently it takes a long time to shake off our early self-talk! And thank goodness you have friends who help you acknowledge your strength. It's so valuable to get that outside perspective. Thanks for another enjoyable post!
My mom was similar! I remember her encouraging me away from taking French in high school because it was "too hard." I think some of my more daring experiences made her nervous - like when I drove across the country alone in my 20s.
When you said "chips" I was thinking the potato or tortilla kind. That would be a great marketing idea though, special pre/peri/menopausal chips. What would be the defining characteristics of each? I feel I'll get in trouble if I try to come up with the specific unique qualities of these chips. I give you this idea for free.
As a husband to a woman in peri-menopause, quite possibly menopause (I don't know the number of days -- but she is convinced getting rid of all her pads/tampons was what brought her period back at 9 months) this thread has been illuminating.
And excellent way to end your post with a cliffhanger -- I must know what subject you don't talk about publicly!
I’m so excited you commented here and normalized that this is a conversation for men, too, because men know and love women who will experience menopause.
Also yes, 100% your wife jinxed herself by throwing out tampons. 😂 I kept all my baby furniture in storage until my kids were in elementary school because I was convinced I would *only* get pregnant again if I got rid of them. 😂
Hey there. I’d be interested in the class on 6/26
yay!
So glad I can inspire you to see yourself anew. ha ha.
I have been telling everyone all my hormonal dysfunction and harassing every woman I know who has gone before me for the last 5+ years for information and it is disturbing how few women want to talk about something that takes over life. Or who even want to acknowledge how whacked we get during this time. I can't tell you how many women have said something like, "oh I don't know that I noticed anything." That is some deep denial. More TMI on this topic!
I think every man and woman who is still married at the end of this crazy deserves a metal! How is the divorce rate not higher at this age??? (and I do think it is pretty high) I too have thought mid fight, is this hormones? But honestly that just pisses me off further.
I made it 224 days without a period last year and at absolutely no time during those 9 months did it occur to me I would not eventually get my period and have to restart the clock. Now on day 73 of my second attempt at menopause. I am 50/50 it will stick this time.
Every single woman in my family had a hysterectomy before menopause. I am literally leading the way for all the women in my family and the nieces who will come behind me. I have one cousin my age who had a hysterectomy but kept ovaries so she gets all the symptoms but no period. Which seems like a reasonable trade off even if you never know the exact moment you are done.
Also, if you have anyone who has gone before you, does the crazy end when you hit the one year? Because honestly I felt pretty great during those 224 days. I mean hot flashes and a few other annoying symptoms but mostly I felt pretty rational and stable with decent energy and no period pain. I could get behind feeling that way the rest of my life. Might even agree to a little weight gain and random warm flashes (mine aren't dying hot and FYI after being told by several women they couldn't be real hot flashes I did some research and discovered that warm flashes are the same thing! So there all you dismissive people!) as a trade off.
“I made it 224 days without a period last year...” GREAT. You just confirmed my worst fear. 😂
“I have been telling everyone all my hormonal dysfunction and harassing every woman I know who has gone before me for the last 5+ years for information...” SAAAAAME. This is why we’re friends. We both have no shame. 😂
I’ve read that the hormonal shift/imbalance during menopause is as extreme as when we first go through puberty. My anxiety has definitely increased, but it’s hard to tell if that’s hormones or cancer.
Oh 12 year old puberty hormones have nothing on Peri-menopause hormones. I was not fractionally this crazy as a teen. I am seriously unhinged. I scare myself. And then going through this with a daughter?! Seriously. I can see why so many women were in sanitariums back in the day. And also, HOW DARE! But also, could you send me to one for a couple years? I could really use the rest.
Also, yes, Hormones or Cancer? Hormones or trauma? It sucks when you are having legitimately difficult things happening in your life at the same time as legitimately hormone inducing crazy. What is real????
Hysteria is from the Greek. "husterikós", suffering in the uterus. The cycle and the mental-pause have caused major social tidal waves throughout history, (so that should be spelled hystery).
I loved reading ALL of this.
Yes, I have a friend from high school from whom I moved an ocean and a continent away so she couldn’t keep contradicting my self-hating bs. She still does! Thank Goddess!
We need more menopause-for-thought and shares.
I’ll be there at the world domination summit amongst the rakes and the hoes 😂. With 🥿 🥿
Oops. Thought we were meeting in the shed, not at the clock tower. Hence the “joke”😬
The world domination summit at the clock tower is once a year. The she-shed is our local weekly chapter. 😂
I’m interested in the logistics around these milestone chips. And their applicability outside perimenopause. Are they allowed to be cashed in for naps? Because I’d support a world where I could bump my head into a box like Mario and pile on those nap coins.
Maybe I’m just tired.
I’m curious about your June event.
omg this is a brilliant video game idea for the new fancy-pants VR thing apple is talking about.
Relatable content. Have you considered being screened for adhd?
HAHAHA! Yes, my therapist has given me referrals but I have not followed through.
That's what got me to get evaluated, too. My therapist suggested I might be exhibiting symptoms of ADHD when I impulsively quit my stable job I'd worked five years to achieve, to find something "meaningful" to do with my life. It was the right thing to do, but it was also an ADHD thing to do.
I’m in the ‘made it 11-months and had to start again’ club. Nailed it on my second attempt. 😭
Hydration and wearing layers are basics but really helped. 😅
noooooo! Like, five people have told me this about making it to month 11! *crying emoji*
"Sure you can!"
Dr. Ruth took it all out of the little gurls room. :-D
Go with the flow!
I loved reading this! I have a couple of friends too who call me out/challenge me after reading my blog posts. I will have forgotten something that shows me in a better light or maybe have focused more on the negatives of a situation or trait and they gently point out some opposing viewpoints. They see me so differently to the way I see myself and it's always an interesting reminder.
Women should get more chips and tokens generally. I just had a baby and feel should be lauded with awards and trophies for all the night feeds and the sheer amount of milk I am producing, spilling and navigating.
Thanks for sharing!
I agree with more awards in general for women!
I'm right there with you on the "low-to-medium risk" perception of myself. Coincidentally, it was the topic I wrote about for my morning pages first thing this past Monday morning. I made a list of what I thought were 'all the things I tried to do', only afterwards I realised I had actually DONE most of them, and curiously, most of them were things that were slightly risky, better done with a partner than alone, and some were even quite physically challenging. As a young girl I did none of those sorts of things.
I didn’t think I was daring at all. In fact, I often chastised myself for being reticent and not taking chances. My mother strongly advised the low risk-options in life: Don’t take chances, better to be safe than sorry. Follow the safe path. Go with certainty.
It took so many years after not living at home for me to hear my own voice, the stubborn one, the let’s go for it one, and I wasn’t always sure if it was mine. Apparently it takes a long time to shake off our early self-talk! And thank goodness you have friends who help you acknowledge your strength. It's so valuable to get that outside perspective. Thanks for another enjoyable post!
My mom was similar! I remember her encouraging me away from taking French in high school because it was "too hard." I think some of my more daring experiences made her nervous - like when I drove across the country alone in my 20s.
Loved everything about this post, Jen! Yay to us ladies!
When you said "chips" I was thinking the potato or tortilla kind. That would be a great marketing idea though, special pre/peri/menopausal chips. What would be the defining characteristics of each? I feel I'll get in trouble if I try to come up with the specific unique qualities of these chips. I give you this idea for free.
As a husband to a woman in peri-menopause, quite possibly menopause (I don't know the number of days -- but she is convinced getting rid of all her pads/tampons was what brought her period back at 9 months) this thread has been illuminating.
And excellent way to end your post with a cliffhanger -- I must know what subject you don't talk about publicly!
I’m so excited you commented here and normalized that this is a conversation for men, too, because men know and love women who will experience menopause.
Also yes, 100% your wife jinxed herself by throwing out tampons. 😂 I kept all my baby furniture in storage until my kids were in elementary school because I was convinced I would *only* get pregnant again if I got rid of them. 😂
Well that'll teach me to take a break from Substack. :( I missed the class! Enroll me in 2.0 please!
So much goodness and hilarity in this--just what the doctor ordered for hairy carrot days. I've missed Jen Zug Writes1