Redefining Balance

leaning into change

Hi, it’s me. I wanted to pop into your inbox real quick with another practice edition of my newsletter. Thanks for being an early subscriber! It comes with the job description of watching me Figure It Out. For example, this email was twice as long yesterday, and this morning I relieved it of all its unnecessary words. 

Jen Zug Writes officially launches September 21st – on my birthday! 

Speaking of September (which starts tomorrow?!?), the Autumnal Equinox is on the 22nd. I can tell it’s getting close because darkness is creeping back into my mornings and the porch light is coming on before we go to bed. It won’t be long before it’s too chilly to drink my morning coffee in the garden.

Morning coffee in the garden with Syd.

The Equinox gives me a new perspective on what it means to find balance. 

On the Spring and Fall Equinox, daylight and darkness are nearly equal. By design, the Universe holds everything in perfect balance for only one day, twice a year. All the rest of the days, the Earth is leaning into the next season, then slowly leaning back into balance for a day before leaning the other way again into a new season. 

Nature is always leaning, always in motion, undulating between dark and light, inward and outward, inviting in and letting go.

I spent decades exhausting myself in search of a sustained balance that held everything all at once – field trips, date nights, mortgage payments, my own identity, a clean toilet. There was so much that needed my attention. Or did it? One year when I was in The Thick of It, my New Year’s Resolution was to brush my teeth at least once a day. Why did I let myself get buried under such a huge pile of expectations?

2006, the year my one goal was to brush my teeth at least once a day.

I’m finally starting to find contentment in the lopsided reality of How It Is.

Holding everything in balance is a signal of change, not an example of permanence.

As the Equinox approaches, I can’t hang on to those long, wandering days anymore. Fall brings back a natural rhythm connected to school, community, and work projects. I lean into these and leave the carefree days behind me. But then, just as I’m despairing that Winter will never end, the Spring Equinox tilts me back toward the light, carefree, wandering days of summer again!

When I feel overwhelmed, it’s usually because I’m doing too much. And I’m trying to do too much because I want to hang on to everything. But the momentary balance of Equinox – the one day Mother Earth holds it all together – encourages me to let go of something for a season so I can lean into whatever the new season has for me. 

This is the new balance I’m trying to embrace. And based on my experience, those things I let go of usually pop up again in a season yet to come. For example, Bryan and I are soon to be empty nesters, which is more fun than before we had kids because now we have more money! 😂

Is it inevitable that our younger selves will stress about things our older selves can more easily blow off?

I know there are natural developmental phases of life where we find ourselves and settle into who we want to be when we grow up. I know there are times when a career or raising kids or getting an education will naturally suck the margins out of our available hours. But are we destined to want to hold onto everything all at once? Are we destined to absorb a set of expectations that are clearly not realistic? Or is it possible that someone in The Thick of It can say to herself, “You know what, I DON’T want to chair the PTA auction this year when I’m already working full time.”

Let’s have a chat…

As the Equinox approaches, what are you letting go of and leaning into? What’s your relationship with balance? Let’s hang out in the comments!

Until next time,

Jen